Monday, May 30, 2011

Turning the Tides of Feldspar

"Nobody knows what the strange finch says, unless otherwise stated, or if support clause number three is failing miserably, as may be the case in 9 out of 4 cases, so that is what you must beware of, is the Feldspar." Did you know, I will end every sentence in this post with the word Feldspar? Anyway, that is a strange concept but it is a true concept because of the quote I mentioned earlier, which also happens to be about Feldspar. It notes that this rare mineral, called Feldspar, must be avoided at all costs because it has dangerous properties unique only to that of Feldspar. So please, beware of the Feldspar.

Yesterday, in fact, I was walking along a road (I happen to do that a lot, don't ask) but then I saw this huge statue made of Feldspar. I was surprised, but on closer examination, I discovered that there was a plaque that said "This is a statue of a chunk of Feldspar". This proved, beyond doubt, that not only was it made of Feldspar, but it was a statue of some Feldspar. The plaque, by the way, was made of bronze, not Feldspar. But anyway, the statue of Feldspar was located right in front of the building which I wanted to walk in, which was annoying because it is difficult to walk through Feldspar. Pretty much impossible, actually, but then again, that is because of the solid nature of Feldspar.

So yes, that is why I was unable to get into the building, because of some Feldspar. Consequently, I decided to punish said Feldspar by saying it so many times that it starts to lose it's meaning, so that it looks weird when you see the word Feldspar. Also, I have successfully ended every sentence with one word: the word called "Feldspar".

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Peppermint

Here at our CandyCane Llama office complex we have decided to change this blog slightly. This change has caused us to hire over 250 new employees and add a new base in Hummingford, South Carolina. We hope you enjoy these changes as they have cost over $30,000 to put into effect. Happily, we are happy with the effect it has produced.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Oh No

Oh No i said oh no which clearly states that i am in a tornado! which states clearly that i am in TeXes which is home to the lone star which clearly states that Bart Starr did not live tiger because then the world would not see that the football team of 1601 was falsely commentated by hagrin Dung who clearly stated that dung is something to be proud of,Yes. and now i have said that i will turn the mic over to Lepie Wagodogoo. thank you. oh and deer, don't run into a hippo on the way, they are in west France so be careful!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Oie!!!!!!!!

When i said "wear oven mitts in the garden" i did not mean Bring the oven with you!! I see you wanted t be warm in the garden... well your plants are dried up and it all your fault!! So there....

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

That tree over there

that tree over there
that tree over there
that tree over there is doing nothing but stare...


so jump for joy!
so jump for Larry the purple and green polka-dotted-billed duck!


ladies and notgentlemen! please find a dance partner and plant some coast side rhododendrons in the mountains. Thank you very much!... NO! BART, NO! DO NOT PLAY WITH THE HIGH POWER LEAF!...well, OK, fine, do play with the high power leaf!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I am On the PHone

And no i did not mention anything about blow dryers attacking Greenland?!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

hi

Hi are you litening to me because if you aare tell me! hi.

now today i was on a boat. and i ate a pie.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Excruciating Guilt/Meatball

I can not go on about all the terrible things that have been going on in Loch Ness Monster! They are too horrible to describe, but if I, Nadine Peninya Wulferick James Rock Cahulamae, can not speak about them then who will? WHO? WHO??!!



Okay I have now deflated and am able to tell you the whole story. I will start with the best news this week. Loch Ness Monster's Oldest Citizen has become a day older, and Loch Ness Monster's youngest citizen has been born. Another amazing change has come to our economy! The US bought 4% of our cabbage farmers which means that we don't have anyone to grow cabbage. You may be thinking 'Well, what about the other 96%?' That is a fair question, but the answer is that the other 96% were stolen from us by the chinese who I think were planning to investigate a new type of macaroni.
The real bad thing that has happened is that there is a new monster in Loch Ness. It was all a mistake, a complete accident! There is a great monster called the... I can't say it.... The Scadoober-pop! There I said it! First you must view the picture of this fearsome beast.

It just makes me so mad to think they are wandering around stealing all of our stuff! Just yesterday while I was pretending to be a goat, it stole my antlers. The only thing it ever says is "Take me home, so I can roam, next to a black cat and a zoo with donut shaped designs." I tried to decipher it using severla codes I know. Here are the deciphered messages: "a;lij4;rq2j$lkjfao3jflakjsfow3 jsdofj349wrij-cork-fq48j-r089uefjkodsj405q9u34#$jf9p 4uiow45jfoasije" another

"spoon-cork- doon=parrot-welding rod-pelt of fur-rabbit- dog w/ or w/o fleas- corn shaped dining room-pipe with donut filling- marshmallow plumbing"

and the final code:

"unavailable i repeat unavailable"

Try out the codes you know on this message and let me know if you make any headway. We must get to the bottom of this mystery before the Scadoober-pop eats my whole town!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Struck by lightning!!!!


This is what you look like after being struck by lightning.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Pickled Ceramic.

..1 question...really is randomness...

I have 1 question. If randomness really IS randomness, then how do we know that
Non-randomness isn't randomness????


The answer is: We don't.


YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-RQG(random question generator)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Up.

This is a post dedicated to the wonderfulness of Up. Up is a direction, a very nice one, too. Birds use it frequently, as do Blimps, Planes, Balloons, Catapults, Bats, and Submarines. It is two letters, and scores 4 points in Scrabble. Down is the opposite, as well as Pu. Your spirits can rise (going up) when you here something really good has come up (there it is again). In these ways and many more, the usefulness of the word Up continues to rise.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Morton

Hi i am at the coastal region of the flight 246. I know that sounds weird but to me it is not weird but weird. Odd huh.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dumsters

Hi I am Zora and I like meatballs. Do you. I thought not. Ah well. Know we know that watermelons come in June. Did you know that pine cones fall on bears? They do . It's cool. I know that time is the Fourth stone of life and hope that you will have a good summer.-Zora

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Vasens Vat

One day I was Walking along a dark alley when I heard a disturbance. A cat

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Peninya's Secret Legend

My Great Aunt Peninya lives with us in Loch Ness Monster. She is very old, but can still whack someone in the head with her old mustard bottle. Once she lost it and it went flying into a tree. That is when disaster struck. It was in the form of lightning. It destroyed the mustard bottle and turned Peninya into a chocolate dragon. Peninya tried a variety of spells to turn her back and only one of them worked. The one that worked didn't work after all and she was stuck as a chocolate dragon. She thought all hope was lost, until my Grandmother, Chamonile Gunk Cahulamae, found Peninya stuck in the ground with a label that said "Dangerous; Do not touch unless you are a mean person".

Chamonile untied her and told her to stay hidden for the next 56 years. Peninya said "See you soon" and left for a desert island called Fishcobb. This island breeded goats and was often exploded because a nasty person lived there by the name of Rabelio Don-Smetzier. Rabelio was a gardener and he was allergic to goats. The goats had magical properties so when ever they were blown up they gained an extra head. It was over all a strange island. Rabelio's allergies were terrible and he was soon very old and nicknamed Old Bofoose. He still lived on the island with all the goats, most of whom, had at least four heads. Anyway, Peninya didn't like the island too much, plus Rabelio had adopted a new haircut shaped like a salad. Peninya returned to Loch Ness Monster and took refuge in the lake for 56 years. She was to stay hidden at all costs so she never spoke to anyone except Chamonile.

There was only one time when Peninya was spotted. The picture looks like this. Peninya has lived with us ever since and we all honor her service to Loch Ness Monster with hope and marbles.

~Nadine~

Strange Thing

Today I was walking the refrigerator to the market to get some Bananas or was it cheese? Yes it was cheese. You see bananas don't have to be refrigerated unless you want to get steak. Cheese however will mold if it is not refrigerated. When cheese molds it turns into clay which molds into a bus and a Bus was the precise strange thing I saw while walking the refrigerator to the market to pick up some meatloaf.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sguigglies!

~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Saturday, January 24, 2009

My pet duck

When I was 6 I had this really cute little duck. His name was Edgar Porwaffle. I loved him so much I felt like if he left I would have to move away. Soon, I began to worry about my grade on a test. I was so worried I built a mega-poratico. Many of you are not familiar with this, but it is a device that controls hunger. They are quite expensive but so useful. I used one on my friend's neighbor's cat's sister. That time it backfired and burned down the whole Aerobics stadium.

That stadium was built for 1,000,000 people to watch aerobics. Only 18 people came to watch the aerobics through the whole time it was there, although once at a holiday concert 19 people came! The aerobic people were so happy they cried all through the performance, so you can imagine it was a little odd to watch. Only one of those nineteen ever came back, and he was there as a janitor. However, the stadium has always been there through the ages, except for the fact that it was burnt down 2 years before it was built.

Wait, I think I got side tracked. I was talking about the mega-portico. This device wards off hunger for up to 3 minutes. It is really expensive and can only be used once. You have to use it when the moon is 1/8 full or else it self destructs which can cause many dollars worth of damage. That happened to my neighbor's uncle's sister's husband's great uncle, he didn't use it and suddenly his house was a pile of garlic(Once the thing has self destructed it turns everything in reach into garlic).

Anyway, I always loved my pet duck!

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Supolé and the creation of Orla

I have told you many stories already about my parents, but I have not talked about some of my siblings before. As you know by the sidebar, I have eight brothers and sisters. This is the story of how my sister Orla was named.
When my father was in the Loch Ness Monster Supolé, he had many adventures. One day he and the Supolé were traveling in Equador on a mission to prove that toothpicks could carry the horrible disease of Arachnophobia(Fear of spiders). They were looking for some proof that supported the theory. They looked in the Amazon when they came upon a gorilla who said he had a lot of experience with the disease.
The gorilla's name was Gil, and he said his whole family had been diagnosed with Arachnophobia, even though they had never been near a single spider. Gil was amazed by the theory and said his mother collected toothpicks since she was young, believing them to ward off evil gobstoppers. My father exclaimed and told Gil that this was why he and his family had been riddled with this disease for so long.
Gil was amazed and tried to form words, but he ended up blowing up the Supolé's boat. The gorilla put it back together with some tape and glue and apologized profusely for what he had done. He explained that whenever he thought of something that was purple and red, the largest thing near him blew up. Gil was very apologetic and was at the point of apologizing for the ninth time when the ship blew up again. He stapled it back together and gave us a token of his gratitude, a pineapple core. The Supolé was too awed to speak, so they left.
They didn't hear from Gil until a full 32 seconds later in the form of the ship blowing up again. They used some extra thread and sewed the ship back together. They paddled away so fast that if you would have seen them you would have thought it was a goose in a mist. When he got home, my father wrote to the gorilla and thanked him for his help, and declared amazing honor. He and my mother were having a little baby girl and he declared that she be named
"Orla" for the the missing letters in "gorilla" and the other half was "Gil". Here is an example: GOrilla
That is the story, and Orla also means "Golden Princess" which might explain why her hair was gold. Or maybe that was because that is the color of the tape used to mend the Supolé's boat after its second explosion.
~Nadine~