My pet duck

When I was 6 I had this really cute little duck. His name was Edgar Porwaffle. I loved him so much I felt like if he left I would have to move away. Soon, I began to worry about my grade on a test. I was so worried I built a mega-poratico. Many of you are not familiar with this, but it is a device that controls hunger. They are quite expensive but so useful. I used one on my friend's neighbor's cat's sister. That time it backfired and burned down the whole Aerobics stadium.

That stadium was built for 1,000,000 people to watch aerobics. Only 18 people came to watch the aerobics through the whole time it was there, although once at a holiday concert 19 people came! The aerobic people were so happy they cried all through the performance, so you can imagine it was a little odd to watch. Only one of those nineteen ever came back, and he was there as a janitor. However, the stadium has always been there through the ages, except for the fact that it was burnt down 2 years before it was built.

Wait, I think I got side tracked. I was talking about the mega-portico. This device wards off hunger for up to 3 minutes. It is really expensive and can only be used once. You have to use it when the moon is 1/8 full or else it self destructs which can cause many dollars worth of damage. That happened to my neighbor's uncle's sister's husband's great uncle, he didn't use it and suddenly his house was a pile of garlic(Once the thing has self destructed it turns everything in reach into garlic).

Anyway, I always loved my pet duck!

The Supolé and the creation of Orla

I have told you many stories already about my parents, but I have not talked about some of my siblings before. As you know by the sidebar, I have eight brothers and sisters. This is the story of how my sister Orla was named.

When my father was in the Loch Ness Monster Supolé, he had many adventures. One day he and the Supolé were traveling in Equador on a mission to prove that toothpicks could carry the horrible disease of Arachnophobia(Fear of spiders). They were looking for some proof that supported the theory. They looked in the Amazon when they came upon a gorilla who said he had a lot of experience with the disease.

The gorilla's name was Gil, and he said his whole family had been diagnosed with Arachnophobia, even though they had never been near a single spider. Gil was amazed by the theory and said his mother collected toothpicks since she was young, believing them to ward off evil gobstoppers. My father exclaimed and told Gil that this was why he and his family had been riddled with this disease for so long.

Gil was amazed and tried to form words, but he ended up blowing up the Supolé's boat. The gorilla put it back together with some tape and glue and apologized profusely for what he had done. He explained that whenever he thought of something that was purple and red, the largest thing near him blew up. Gil was very apologetic and was at the point of apologizing for the ninth time when the ship blew up again. He stapled it back together and gave us a token of his gratitude, a pineapple core. The Supolé was too awed to speak, so they left.

They didn't hear from Gil until a full 32 seconds later in the form of the ship blowing up again. They used some extra thread and sewed the ship back together. They paddled away so fast that if you would have seen them you would have thought it was a goose in a mist. When he got home, my father wrote to the gorilla and thanked him for his help, and declared amazing honor. He and my mother were having a little baby girl and he declared that she be named
"Orla" for the the missing letters in "gorilla" and the other half was "Gil". Here is an example: GOrilla

That is the story, and Orla also means "Golden Princess" which might explain why her hair was gold. Or maybe that was because that is the color of the tape used to mend the Supolé's boat after its second explosion.

~Nadine~

Zora: talker of the horns

Hello, and today we will be interviewing Zora. Here we go!

Agent Pizza: So, where are you from?

Zora: Honk honk horn honk hornie honkie honk horn honk honk! (Translation: Well, it is really great to be here! I live in Belaroose, Russia.)

Agent Pizza: I see. So, what is your favorite food?

Zora: Horn honk honk honk honk honkie honkie hornie-o honk horn honk. (Translation: Cucumbers with a tad of garlic sauce. Here are the ingredients: Salt, Molasses, Garlic, Red Food Coloring, Baking Soda, Vanilla, Almond Sauce, Rosemary Vinegar, Ginger Extract, Chocolate, Lollipops, Raspberry Jam, A Barometer, Tin Foil, A Penguin (Preferably Gusto), Kangaroo Toenails, Honey, Chunky Carrots, and half of a Keyboard. Place all ingredients in a silver pot, and stew under the full moon. It only takes three months to make at the least!

Agent Pizza: Snore... Snore... (Zora hits Agent Pizza over the head with a frying pan) Oh! Hello! Who are you? Oh ya, well, that's all the time we have! Bye!

Zora: Honk Hoonkie Honk Honk(Translation:Wait a moment!! We haven't discussed my new G4 Htv(Honkie Table vampires)sonic power,radio,etc etc etc.......

Googlio Cycloptus

Alright, I just got back from a council meeting in the Loch Ness Monster Hall of Chambers. We have decided on quite a few changes going into effect next week. One of the plans was brought up by myself and is called "Googlio Cycloptus". This plan will be instated this Sunday and has a very important purpose. We, the council chambers, have decided that in the near future Loch Ness Monster will be threatened by stick-throwing pudding displays. This may seem odd to you in some way, but it is a very serious mega-species. There is only one way to get rid of them which I have discovered. It is called Googlio Cycloptus.

You may be wondering how this works. You see, STPD's (stick-throwing pudding displays), are a threat to society because, well, you wouldn't want sticks thrown at you, would you? Exactly. The brilliance of Googlio Cycloptus is that they will disapear that minute off the Earth. Pretty smart, right? And I thought of it all!

The only problem is, well, I don't know how I should say this, but, um, I haven't figured out how to work it and, without that it is kind of point less. That does not take away from the brilliance of it, however!

Got milk? I do, it is in that sack.

Ok, I am still reeling in shock from what I just saw. You see, I was walking through a store, and I found out it was actually a tornado shelter. I was really scared then because no one else was there. I was running around waiting for the tornado to hit. It turned out there was no tornado. When I ran away I noticed a little shop. There was this young girl wearing a shirt that said "Hi, I am Francine, I'm biodegradable". I thought this was rather strange, but I soon realized there was no limit to strange things here.

When I walked north from the shop I saw a sign that said "If you are wise you will leave, if you aren't then you leave" I walked on and found just what i was looking for; a bath tub dump. I unloaded my bathtub and browsed around for awhile. This was hard because there wasn't any bathtubs. I ended up leaving and ran into a pig who had lost his wig. I looked for a 2 hours with him and we finally found it. It was on his head. After that I found a store that sold pygmy goats. There were thousands in the place and I found the perfect one. I asked the person if I could have one, but he said they were all out. I was sad so I stopped at a ski lodge. They were out of skis.

Next, I ran into a hog. I asked him how his day was and he said he had swallowed a cracker once and it had changed him in many ways. I was really intrigued and offered him a helping hand. He said that would be great, but if only he had his oatmeal spoon. I was sad to see him leave, but I decided it was for the best. Consequently, I found the secret of life. Want to hear it? Oh whoops, I promised I wouldn't tell.

Bye for now!

~Nadine~

My Name

Hi, this is Nadine. I thought you all would like to know about my name. It is a very interesting tale. Remember my father Corn Cobb? You might have thought my name was thought of by him, but no. It was my mother, Bernadette. I don't believe I have told you much about her. You see, she was a Frog Maiden. You may laugh, but it was a most serious profession. She as well as her 437 fellow maidens, did dances all over the world. When you are a Frog Maiden it is your job to convince the world that we were evolved out of frogs. They have no proof, of course, but it has convinced many upon many amounts of people(3).

You may wonder how she met my father. Do you remember the Loch Ness Monster Supolé? My father was part of it, and he and the Frog maidens happened to be touring Papua New Guinea at the same time. Weird, ehh?

Many years later, when I was born my mother named me "Nadine". It originated from the Frog Maiden's word for "Hop". However, they were never good spellers, so they spelled it "Hope". The world believes Nadine means hope when it actually means hop. Pretty interesting right?

It is lucky I wasn't a boy because my father was going to name his next boy child "Stinky Turnip". I am still grateful to this day that I missed out on that name.

This is strange!

Here is a website that lists a lot of strange facts. I have also noticed that the quality of our posts has been, well, declining. I hope to fix that, but for today I can only list this!

http://www.robinsweb.com/humor/strange_things.html

New Year

Happy New year! This new year will hope to bring

• salad
• oddness
• orange peels
• Cristal balls
• ice
• peppers
• pencil sharpener
• candles

All of these things have quality! Goodness of heart and personal dumpsters!

Today I was...

• Walking my dog
• petting a cat
• smiling at the garbage dump
• eating a licirice wand
• emailing Chizu
• Finding a cure for Banana-fish pox
• Trying to find a puppy that was lost
• Looking for my pet Zo Plankton
• gobbling a door knob flavored sundae
• feeling like a salad

The things that are colored in blue are the ones that are most important, the green is semi important, and the red are not important. Purple means I was doing it in the rain. Orange means I was doing it for nine hours.

This is called a multi-grain list. They are very helpful. You should all do one. It helps you think.